one last thought

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We continue to marvel…

At all the transitions the kids, and we, are going through. It’s been just over two weeks since we arrived home and today another ‘first’ occurred. This time it was the birth of an alpaca. ‘Coppertone’ wasn’t due for another 3-4 weeks so this little guy is on the edge. Watching the kids while we cleaned up the cria and milk the mother as well as help the little one stand was pretty interesting.

This is just one of a hundred different ‘firsts’ they have been enjoying or enduring depending on your/their point of view. Two weeks ago today we took them out to the barn for the first time. Without blinking all three pitched in and helped us and Kevin’s parents herd the alpacas out of the barn, put out hay, and feed them grain. It took them a week before Delaney insisted in helping her father scoop the poop.

And so it goes – nothing seems to slow these kids down.

To back up 14 days and recap a few events that stood out at the time (and if we don’t document them now they will be lost to the years ahead). First, as we noted in our last blog post, we are grateful for CHI getting us through the maze of processes in Moscow. We can’t imagine being holed up in a hotel room with three energetic kids for as long as was predicted. So many we talked to in Moscow were taking 3 or more weeks for their second trip and we were home in one!

Our flights home were generally good. We baited the kids with chewy candy and suckers in an attempt to avert painful ears. Either that worked or we got lucky because none complained about ear pain. The first two flights were relatively short (less than 4 hours) and the trips to the bathroom and eating airline food did not pose any real problems. In fact, the kids did quite well but we knew we were at the end of the duration for keeping them from total boredom and meltdown. Fortunately, we flew back from Frankfort on a Boeing 777 with individual screens and headsets at each seat. That kept them completely entertained while they were awake. The kids should have been paid as testers because the switches got quite a workout. Once they ate, all 3 slept the duration of the flight.

When we arrived at Dulles we were meet by Nancy’s parents who greeted us with teddy bears, warm smiles and hugs. Upon arriving home at 11:00 pm the kids raced to their rooms of which they had seen pictures in the updated photo albums we took to Russia. Kevin’s parents, who were house sitting while we were away, rushed to do two weeks of home prep work in just three days: adding locks, moving things up out of reach, putting the finishing touches on the kid’s rooms, etc. By the time we could implement the routine of dinner, tubby time, ten minutes of movie time it was 3:15 AM before the whole house calmed to a short night of sleep because we were all up by 8:00 AM.

The next days brought the occasional meltdown because someone didn’t get their way, projectile vomiting when Parker was hit by the stomach bug, doctor’s visits and shots nearly too numerous to count (but Delaney and Carson certainly told Parker how many they each got on what arm since he got to stay home and recover from the bug as they pointed at each arm and stabbed themselves with a finger!). Parker got his a week later!

Carson is a chatterbox who’s favorite line is “Papa Oup PaWease” It took Parker two days to get that line down and now they both are giving their father back stress as he tries to carry them up the stairs to tubby time, p-sit (number one) or kakhat (number two). Delaney loves to be carried by her mom who also now has back stress! The kids all love to wash their hands, turn on light switches, race around, be tickled and all the other usual kid stuff.

There have been virtually no sleeping issues and each has slept in their own bed each night. Only one accident (following the dinner-time discovery of the frig water dispenser – which is now conveniently ‘broken’) though Carson has woken two nights crying and needing only to go p-sit.

Food has been an issue – but only in having enough to satisfy their appetites. Mac and cheese, yogurt, jello, meatloaf, roast turkey breast, fresh cherry tomatoes, pasta with pesto, pizza, raw radishes, lots of juice, milk – virtually anything we put in front of them. For all the bland food we ate in Russia these kids even scarfed up the Mexican rice Kevin made for lunch one day.

One night Parker put his hand on his head and went Boom, Boom, Boom as he raised his hand higher and higher and ever since all three kids are seemingly eating to grow bigger and bigger. They are doing it too. In just the first week Parker added two plus pounds!

We also celebrated Delaney’s 8th birthday which happens to also be Kevin’s father’s (Val) birthday. Having heard that kids in orphanages only celebrate birthday’s monthly and fearing that the two boys would feel left out of the gift receiving we didn’t really know what to expect. To make things simpler we gave both Delaney and Val their cards to open first. This was fine until we gave Delaney the first gift – which was a nozzle for a hand held propane tank. She quickly passed it to Val who was delighted but had little time to enjoy it before Carson ran off with it and became so attached that he slept with it that night! The rest of the event went well with Parker even playing delivery man to his older sister! We had lesson 101 on B-day’s which Nancy had forgotten – never do cake and presents in the evening for little ones. Kid B-days need to be in the afternoon to eliminate nuclear meltdown and overtired kiddos.

We could go on and on with anecdotes and challenges. The biggest of the later is language. It seems certain that these kids do not have all the terrible issues of determining who their new parents are or sleeping, eating, bathing, etc. What they need is a school environment so that they can start to socialize and learn English and not have each other as a crutch to fall back on. Delaney has already learned her ABC’s and numbers in English and has been caught speaking English in short phrases. Carson is nearly ready to sing Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes and Parker in some ways has made the biggest adjustments as he brought a certain amount of anger with him which seems to have begun to abate. Last Sunday he got to the point where he was freely giving kisses and hugs to both of us and it could not have brought bigger smiles, stronger hugs and return kisses. We can only speculate as to what their individual situation was with their biological parents and in the orphanage and what they learned and endured. Clearly, they learned some survival skills but also valuable life skills as well (what kid doesn’t play with their food or pout from time to time and how many kids take their dishes to the sink, trash/recycling to the appropriate can, help vacuum, put away toys or race to the tub for tubby time?). So, they seem normal enough to fit right in with us!

During our adoption hearing in Kemerovo, the judge asked Nancy if the kids met our expectations, she responded that they exceeded our expectations. Now, nearly three weeks since that hearing we can still say that they exceed our expectations in every way. Tomorrow, Delaney will start American First grade and Parker will start kindergarten for the first time (we’re bracing for a difficult time because the two times we have taken the kids to either school or day care Delaney stars to cry – we finally surmised that her only perspective on school comes from last fall when she was separated from her brothers and sent away to a boarding school – no doubt she fears that scenario will be repeated so we are planning on being there for her at lunch and available all day if needed to convince her that she will always come home to her forever family). If we survive this week and with some hard work and luck they will advance a grade next fall.

As for Carson, we feel lucky to have found what appears to be a wonderful person running a day care that is expanding to a facility right across from the school that Delaney and Parker will attend. He will start on the 31st and his brother and sister will be there for before and after school care starting on the same date.

We have also been blessed with a wonderful network of family and friends. We could not have returned as smoothly with out your help nor would we have been as comfortable leaving 57 alpacas without the steadfast help of Cindy and Craig Harmon and Angie Lowrie who came by each day to help feed and scoop poop. Kevin’s parents not only took care of and prepped the house but helped out in the barn each day as well. And, when we returned, their love for and patience with the kids is still remembered by their new grandchildren. Our co-workers, friends and family who have brought us gifts and donations of clothes, toys, car seats and other necessities have delighted the kids and relieved us as we see the kids engage in different ways with each newly discovered toy. This is both the most challenging time and perhaps the most rewarding. It has renewed our value in the simple things while trying our patience. God’s blessing has come to us in our families, in our four children (we can’t wait for Ellie to meet her three new siblings!) and in our friends near and far. Thank you for keeping all of us in your thoughts and prayers - we still need them! We can’t wait for you all to meet our three new ones and if you haven’t met Ellie yet to meet her too (she’s in New Castle, New South Wales, Australia right now for her Spring semester of her Jr. year at Clemson). This is the last planned entry into our blog. If for some reason we start up again we will let you know. Until then, enjoy the picture of 5/6’s of the Brandt family!